DevilAngel

recap on Phuket Trip

2008-12-21T13:54:00.003+08:00

This is my updates of my life... Lots of wonderful and memorable occasions, holiday trip going on... Its just that i'm way too lazy to update it... Here is some quick recap on my life...

I was away to Phuket, Thailand for 5 days 4 night... Phuket trip is seriously great... I got myself tanned... Thanks to the outdoor activities for 4 days in the row out in the sun... The weather there is seriously hot that i can barely open my eyes without my shade on... There were 11 of us going for that trip...

First night of arrival, had dinner once we have dump our stuff in our apartment... Second day, out in the sea for sunbathing.. At night is all about shopping and looking and pass by the clubs and pubs full of drag queens... Third day, we had a morning tour to Maya Bay, Scuba Diving, Phi Phi Don and Kai island... The place is seriously awesome... Clear blue water.. Getting more tan... At night more shopping to be done.. Fourth day, out for brunch and more shopping... At night soak ourselves in the sea... After which we decided to bring down our booze and have some private party by the pool... It was seriously awesome.... The water was icy cold that we need the booze to warm ourselves... Fifth day, out for lunch, play some pools and some last minutes shopping before heading back to the airport and back home...

I miss the fun i had in Phuket.. It bring lots of joys and free from worries... Done with my holiday trip.. Back at my home town, there i was getting myself tangle up in relationship.. SO yeah, finally i'm attached after like 3 years enjoying myself that it got me freak out and suffocated on the initial stage having someone trying to enter my life.. I wasn't being nice to him at all... I don't want anyone to invade my circle... I was reluctant... I need some time to think about it clearly... After much thought and dilemmas, i decided to give him a chance and let him enter into my territory... No more flirting with any guys that i want or fancy... I guess that's all for now... I better get ready as i have to attend my cousin engagement... ciaoz~

birthday bash

2008-11-27T12:23:00.002+08:00

My birthday celebration was really a blast... Lots of surprises... I really am truly touch with the event for the whole day.... I enjoy my birthday minus the alcohol... hahaha... For once birthday is not about getting all high up and party till dawn.. Something different for once...

I'm really touch on how hard Min work really hard just to plan for my birthday and getting me a digicam and at the end of the day he don't have much cash left for himself to last before his pay day...

Yesterday went out with the starbuckaroos for buffet dinner as Mr. Ray is back in singapore for good (for now)... Since he is back, there are lots of things to catch up.. We shall start planning for lots of activities for him...

One thing for sure, everyone is looking forward to the phuket trip... I can't wait for the trip either... Anyway, i better empty the 4GB memory card to lend it to Snowy... better start kicking my ass for that.. Doodle~

miss my old days

2008-10-30T17:13:00.002+08:00

Looking back at all the pictures taken during my clubbing days, kinda miss those clubbing freaks... Gosh.. How time flies without me realizing it.. how much fun i had back than when i'm still a party animal surrounded by party animals... When i feel like back in party mode, i suddenly realize those clubbing freak are attached and stuff like that.. suddenly i feel weird and realize that i'm alone...

Didn't realize that i've been single for too long... i guess enjoy myself too much to even notice it... but when one by one all the clubbing freak start moving on with their lives than only reality strike me...

what that make me? a workaholic... what else can i do, right? anyway, better keep moving... ciaoz~

Sya & Azhar b-day

2008-10-22T01:49:00.002+08:00

There seem to be so many things to blog about but just too lazy to blog it.. Anyway, today went after work meet up with some of them to celebrate Sya and Azhar birthday... They are so sweet to wait for me to cut the cake... hehehe..

Anyway, recap for what i've done last week... Practically nothing.. More like wasting my off days taking care of the kids and went out to night safari for halloween party which is kinda boring... Went out for raya outing with some of them.. Thats how i spend my off days.. I guess its time for me to sleep as i have to reach work early and on the server to start up the whole branch workstation.. toodle~

Roadshow

2008-10-15T01:31:00.003+08:00

Today i have company roadshow... It was as usual looking at the statistic on the economy... I seriously have no idea on how to read the chart as i wasn't even paying attention.. All i see is zigzag lines of different colors... After the roadshow, had coffee and some pastas with Azhar and Liza.... I have a few things for tomorrow... This is what happen when i have my off days.. Catching up with the lost time and doing the necessary things that needed my attentions.. Hmm.. i wonder if i miss out on anything...

I guess thats all for now... I better do some of my things now... toodle~

shall i buy back my Kenny G disc?

2008-10-14T01:40:00.002+08:00

I'm going thru imeem and wondering to myself... Shall i buy my Kenny G disc as there are some idiot didn't return me back my disc... The forever in love just bring me back to the past during my high school days... Where i was involve in some Civil Defence guest of honor parade... They played Forever in love by Kenny G and that is where i get to meet my very first ex... During the pager era..

Time flies really fast... It was the saddest i ever experience... On how hurt i was back than but always portrait my boldness in front of everyone... Anyway, first love always hurt... But it was long time ago say about a decade ago...

Anyway, i got the Kenny G disc during high school as well when i start doing some part time tutoring... I kinda miss those old days during high school... Miss some close buddies... Gosh... How time flies... Everyone has went on their separate ways and living their separate lives...

Sometime i wonder what if one day i decided to migrate overseas for good.. Will anyone miss me? or will it be greener on the other side? For now, i'm embracing to the wonderful memories given to me by everyone around me especially to Snowy..

I think if our path didn't cross, i would have plan for my migration... Have always wanted to... If i ever i were to migrate, there are so many things i will miss... Too many things that is nailing me to where i am right now... Too many memories that i can't bear to leave it... Regardless of happiness, sadness, indescribable feeling... Well i guess that's all for now.. Toodles~

1st time out dating with Din

2008-10-06T00:19:00.002+08:00

Today was really nice and simple outing with Din... We meet up at around 4 plus as our movie start at 5.. We watch Eagle Eye.. The show is nice with load of action pack.. After the movie, we head down to Breeks and ZingDo... I had lasagne and he had some Korea food... Went to Kinokuniya to check out the outdoor cafe he was talking about... The place do exist but sadly they close that area permanently... After dinner we head down to Borders and chill out at coffee beans.. After that we head back home... Just for some simple outing... So my dear Snowy, we don't have anything fanciful today just a simple and casual outing... hehehe..

First day of raya

2008-10-02T00:11:00.003+08:00

Today is the first day of raya... Everything been great... Spending heeps of money for the festive season alone.. Been talking to Snowy that i need something or someone to spice up my life... My life been getting mundane... I don't know why i feel this way.. I guess must be my immune system weakening and i feel crappy..

What shall i do now? Hmm... There are things just seem unclear or either that i choose to ignore it.. I know that the more we want something and how badly we want it, we can never have it... At this moment there isn't any that i'm trying to obtain or anything like that...

Hmm... I was chatting with Snowy about Din... Sometime i don't care about him at all.. To me he is just a friend and i don't seem to feel anything special about him... Sometime i find that he is nice guy with idiosyncrasy... hahahaha... He just seem to get on everyone nerve and yet on mine... I wonder what will i do if he ever get on my nerve... I think i will skin him alive... Muahahaha...

Everyone seem to be matchmaking both of us... Did i show sign that i like him? *i wonder* The thing is i'm just being neutral.. i guess.. Anyway, i better stop blabbing... toodles~

Tired of work

2008-09-29T15:25:00.002+08:00

Work been hectic for me.. I'm suppose to go to Bukit Timah Branch today for a week but my manager disagree to it as its far and she only can let me go relief for 2 to 3 days and not more than that.. As the government money is out, we need 3 officers to be around to back up... Even the ubi branch need my assistance... gosh.. i would prefer to go to ubi as it is nearer to my home... so i don't know what gonna happen to me.. so all i can do is just wait where shall i head to tomorrow... Today is a last minute off day for me..

dating for 4 days in a row

2008-09-24T01:27:00.002+08:00

I've been going out for 4 days in a row with Min and i guess i need a break... I need some personal space and he been advancing rather fast... I need time to regain myself.. I need space to think.. He is a nice guy and sweet too.. I guess been single too long and being way too independent kinda...

Rumors been spreading like a burning forest... I don't know how the guys are so up to date than the girls.. I wonder...

looking for knight in shining armor

2008-09-20T04:18:00.002+08:00

Have u ever like someone to only realize that person like u as well but cupid just miss their arrows... Well that happen to me... Had a crush on someone from my college to realize that he do like me before... Oh well.. When i was attached, he was single and when i'm single, he is attached right now.. Well i guess we are not meant for each other but merely as friends... Anyway, i would just wanna wish him always be happy with his love one.. I hope the old flame won't start a spark again for that might hurt... Oh well.. That is life.. You will never get what u want but u might get what u need...

I'm still waiting for my knight in shining armor to rescue me from this lonely despair.. I wonder where is my knight in shining armor... is he someone out there married, attached, gay or even worse still dead.... hehehe... I think i'm a little crappy now... I better get moving.. ciaoz~

2008-09-15T01:20:00.002+08:00

last saturday was fun... celebrated zack birthday... today went out with din and ali to watch movie... the show was ok with pathetic ending... while i was browsing thru my facebook, i decided to check out on saz profile and it dawn on me that everything is all in the past... having two guys running in and out of my life really keep me occupied and busy... with ram being nice with me and saz start to disappear just like that... its like taking turn to walk in and out of my life, create a big pile of mess and there they go again...

its not that i want to reconcile any of it but i'm just getting sick and tired of all this and i'm already immune to it.... even how they come in my life and do the sweet talking, its doesn't help at all... so whoever the next guy trying to come into my life, i shall say all the best to that person as they have to break a huge barrier that have been surrounding my heart over time... been too long and the barrier getting thicker over the time...

anyway, i shall be sleeping soon... got to work early tomorrow... suddenly i feel lazy to work.. hope the new branch people would treat me nicely... toodles~

first day in the kallang branch

2008-09-08T21:58:00.002+08:00

Today is my first day in Kallang branch.. It was ok but the thought of waking up in the morning is so not me... Thank God its fasting month as my mum will wake me up in the morning without fail... hehehe.. Everything been well except for earlier on my line having some problem.. but its all fix now..

I think i better sleep early... Suddenly i feel lazy to update my blog.. So i guess i'll just leave it hanging here and i will update when i'm like fully awake or when i have enough strength... toodles~

been working for 2 weeks straight

2008-09-07T23:03:00.002+08:00

I've been working for 2 weeks since last Tuesday... Its been tiring and i ended up sleeping most of the time the whole of today.. Gosh.. Thank God i'm off today if not i don't know how i'm gonna survive another week of working... My manager was wondering if i could come back to work today.. Good think i rejected... Seriously i would be working 3 weeks straight..

I wanted to buy shoe today but its too late for now... I was busy playing game didn't realize the time... Oh well.. my bad... Since i don't have my cover toe shoe, i need to wear formal clothing and i can't wear my uniform... anyway, i think i better do what i want to do and than i better head to bed early as i have long day ahead tomorrow.. I guess i better get some rest now... toodle~

some recall back...

2008-09-05T00:36:00.003+08:00

Life been great.. Having karaoke session with Ziz, Panama, Din, Snowy & Zack before the fasting month start.. The start of fasting month been great too as i start my training at a new branch for week.. I'm so happy and excited at the new branch.. It so centralize... i like..

First day of break fast was kinda pathetic... Bought soya bean drink and tarquitos and thats about all... The second day of break fast i was out with Liz and Azh for pizza at marina square.. The third day of break fast was with Snowy at komalas... Fourth day of break fast which is today, with Panama at long john silver.. Tomorrow gonna meet the traveler friends as we are having emergency gathering as we might have to detour..

I wonder what's with Panama and Snowy wanting me and Din to be together... Just because everyone in lovey dovey mode i have to be one as well.. Hmmm.. no thanks... its ok babes.. there isn't a need to matchmake both of us.. i'm happy being single... hahahaha... i want to sleep but i can't as my hair a little wet.. so i guess i just play some game before sleeping.. ciaoz~

thinking abt love life

2008-08-27T01:34:00.004+08:00

Earlier on Ram called me and we chatted catching up time with each other... Its been like 2 over years to 3 years when we decided to go our separate ways and yet he still there... Still there not letting go fully... At time i wonder what is he up to.. He is the one who want to get out of the door saying that there isn't any love left... Saying that i deserve someone better... What an asshole...

When a guy love you, they would do anything to get you but if they don't love you they would do anything to dump you away...
After we ended our relationship, i became workaholic... Seriously workaholic who don't have time to socialize... Maybe God being kind enough to me wanting me to get a life... I decided to chill out with Snowy on Nad birthday bash... That is when we get close till today... Thanks Snowy... If our path never cross, i will still busy working my ass off...

Along the way i did met up with some guys and went out on date with them... But it was just a casual date where nothing special happen... I thought one of it turn out well... The one with Saz but it ended up to nowhere... *sigh*

If ever Ram want to come back to my life, shall i take him back in my life? Just a thought... What do you think? Any protestant?

I should be sleeping right now as i have another long day ahead tomorrow.. I should be a good girl for this whole week as next week is my officer training... I can't under perform nor can i screwed up anything this whole week.. I hope everything went smoothly as i can't afford to make a single mistake... Seriously can't as its a matter of promotion concern...

I think i better get some rest now.. ciaoz~

buzzing with activities...

2008-08-25T10:36:00.002+08:00

My off days been filled up with lots of activities... Thanks Snowy and the rest who make my day.. There are so many activities that i couldn't remember in order... So here are the re-cap on what i've been doing on my off days..

Wednesday went to Lao Pa Sat to have satay as Snowy was craving it.. After dinner, we head down to one Fullerton to sit near the merlion and chatting... It was a simple yet nice outing...

Friday was out shisha-ing with 10 peoples.. Its really a blast to have so many out for shisha-ing... I really enjoyed there.. There come to a point it seems like mass orgy... hahahaha.... We had our foods, drinks and shisha...

Saturday, meet up with the babes to watch firework... While waiting for the firework to start, we were playing uno.. The firework was a beauty... After firework, went to shah alam for dinner..

Sunday head down to granny place for some rituals...

Hmm... what did i do on thurs? Snowy any idea? Anyway that's abt all.. I'll be back to work tmr.. doodle~

EXSA workshop

2008-08-16T01:22:00.002+08:00

Today i have ExSA workshop from 9am to 5pm... It was interesting to learn new things.... Today workshop end early... About 4.30pm, we could knocked off from the workshop.. After workshop and shopping for a while, i meet up with Snowy, Triani, Dil, Azh and Din.... It was fun meeting them up and having a good laugh.. Seriously good laugh than Dil and me start weeping from too much laughter... My voice was so bad if i continue laughing i would loss my voice entirely...

Saz msg me earlier... After exchanging a few heated SMS-es telling him as to why i'm not joining Liz and the rest of the couples for holiday trip... He keep asking me why didn't i go and stuff like that.. I had enough of it... I decided to message him telling him that i'm gonna sleep... Meet him when both us are free... Or shall i say some other time perhaps... Hmm.. Maybe i should just tell him that i'll meet him after raya... hahaha..

Seriously right now, i'm moving on... I don't want to be there waiting for him and always be there for him kind of stuff... Since he don't treasure me, why should i be such a fool for him who is selfish.. Enough is enough...

I pass my Final Theory Test

2008-08-13T14:08:00.004+08:00

Earlier on today i have my final theory test... Before the test i have e-trial... I tried 3 time and i keep failing... I wasn't looking forward for my actual test which i have to go after the e-trial... I chatted with Snowy telling her about the test.. While doing the test, i was really anxious.. i've completed the test but i don't dare to end the test.. I thought of going thru the answer to see if there is any changes i would like to make.. Than again i thought, why not just take the risk... That few second of waiting make me stop breathing for a while.. When i saw the screen appear "PASS", i was smiling from ear to ear... heheheh..

So now i need to focus more on practical and hopefully to be able to book TP test soon... As for the final theory test, i didn't even study... I have e-learning to complete but yet to complete.. I thought of going thru my e-learning but i ended up dozing off early.. hahaha..

Later tonight i have dinner date with Lemon, Ivan and Snowy.. Syai couldn't make it for the dinner date as he's working late.. Have no idea where we gonna head for dinner but most probably we would be going to Breeks.. Syai, u should meet us up... don't u miss us?

Anyway, Saz message me few days back asking me if i wanna accompany him to his friend chalet.. Told him i have work the next day and i need to be up early... Seriously i had enough of his nonsense.. I hate it when he's with me, he start talking about his ex.. What we did together remind him of his ex and stuff like that.. So i decided to retreat back... All this while, he didn't appreciate me... Guys only start regretting when we gals are out of their live.... When we are theirs, they would take advantage of us and never even appreciate us... Anyway, i have move my things out of his apartment... Had enough of it... *sigh*

For now, i'm going to bum around waiting for the time to pass... doodle~

Start bitching abt club hopping

2008-08-06T13:20:00.003+08:00

Let see.. Where shall i start... Hmm.. Last Saturday after work, met up with Snowy and her friends at Boat Quay... We head down to Mind Cafe for some wacky boardgames.. After the game, we decided to go to Clarke Quay, China One as Fir has some performance there... Those guys want to go to MOS but i have to go to OBar as its A'an birthday...

So i head down to OBar with Mif to celebrate A'an birthday... It was funny at how scared he was when i hammered him the last time.. hahahaha.. So i had to threaten him to talk to me... I told Mif to pass message to him that if he didn't come to chat with me, i'm going off... He was like gonna pee in his pant... hahahaha.. So he come forward apologizing to me.... hahahaha...

At OBar, i was ended up with Rin and her group of friends... (Rin is Mif friend) Rin was with her bro and two or was it three guy friends.. So most of the time i was there with them... About 3.30am i decided to make a move from OBar... Told Mif and A'an that i'm going off.. Than went over to Rin and her friend that i'm heading off... So just give Rin and her friends a hug each... While i was halfway out, i thought Mif decided to accompany me to MOS but it was Rin and one of his guy friends... They were asking for my number as one of their friends wanna know me...

I was like trap there when Rin holding on to me and another guy shoove a mobile phone towards me... So i decided to give my number.. I think if i didn't give my number they won't let me go off just yet...

Once i'm outta OBar, off i went to MOS as Fir and some of them were there at the VIP lounge waiting for me... Lini and Ril was sitting beside each other taking pictures after pictures... Fir and me was like screaming across the table... I decided to move in beside Fir so that i don't have to scream...

The next day i had to work... As usual.. What's new.. I'm so close to losing my voice the next day.. But good thing i didn't... The guy in Obar was Yan.. We are messaging each other everyday... To my horror, another Mr. February... hahahaha.. Oh gosh... Saz also Mr. February... I guess that's all for now.. Toodles~

Club hopping

2008-08-04T00:07:00.002+08:00

I'm back to old self again... Last Saturday meet up with the wacko guys and babes at Boat Quay... The plan was so disorganized... I ended up club hopping... Will update more to it... Right now i don't have the strength to continue bitching about it... I'm seriously exhausted but overwhelm with the activities over the weekend... Hopefully to bitch about it tomorrow... Doodles~

i suddenly miss Saz

2008-08-01T22:55:00.002+08:00

Sitting here in my living room, browsing some sites and listening to music.... Suddenly my heart ache for Saz... I kinda miss him... *sigh* I hope he miss me too... Oh well.. I don't want to think about him anymore... I know that i'm just nobody to him... Just someone he could use and shelf me up like some useless ragdoll... I feel so useless at time... i don't know why... *sigh*

Confirmation of resort..

2008-07-29T00:44:00.004+08:00

Great thing been happening over the weekend... I must say i had an enjoyable weekend... Sentosa was fun and i can't wait to go there again... Hmmm... Liz decided to go ahead and book the Bintan resort from 17 to 21 August... I think i shall go ahead with it... I need to de-stress myseld from the hectic life in singapore... Feeling all shitty at times or maybe most of the time...

Let see.. Liz will be bringing his boyfriend along.. I shall ask someone along but no idea who... Liz would definitely take the master bedroom... So left another room with 2 separate beds... I wonder who i shall bring along... Snowy might not be able to take leave... So who is my other option? Hmm... I wonder.. Anyway, i think i better sleep... Another day ahead... toodles~~

my boss farewell party...

2008-07-24T03:46:00.002+08:00

Today we had my boss farewell party... Next wednesday he gonna fly to KL to work there... They had dinner at Merchant Court but i didn't follow them.. I join them at Drangonfly for some KTV and drinking session... Basically they order beer and Martell and i like none... So what my boss did he order Chivas for me... Gosh.. After we are done with the drinking session, my boss was like saluting me saying that he didn't know i could drink... hahaha...

I had fun... Cos we were playing game and drinking too... It was really fun.. I have to work tomorrow... No idea how i'm gonna drag myself to work tmr... Gosh... I could barely open my eyes... My stomach kinda discomfort after so much drinking.. I think i better rest now... I'm so gonna miss my boss... Even though he could be fierce during working hour but after work we could be buddy with him... Anyway better get some rest for i have work the next day... toodles...

Zana wedding

2008-07-21T01:38:00.002+08:00

I attended my ex-colleague wedding today.. It was ok.. The food not that fantastic... The deco was way too simple for the amount that she paid for... Anyway, i have practical class tomorrow morning and i should be resting by now... But i don't want to sleep just yet.. I feel like lying down listening to all the sappy song before going to sleep.. Sappy song are so soothing that it make me sleep better... hehehe..

I need a break... A getaway.. Holiday trip.. Hmm... I would love to get out of this country to somewhere quiet.. By the beach where i could enjoy the sea breeze and listening to the sound of the wave gently hitting the sand... I just need those to de-stress myself from all the hectic work and back feeling fresh ready to face more obstacles.. At time i just feel like giving ways to work.. At this point of time, i feel that work sucks to the max...

I think i shall start planning to go on holiday maybe next month... Seriously if i have money, i wouldn't mind going over the weekend to de-stress myself.. The workload been piling up and its killing me.. I still have like a month plus of probation before going for training... During this period of time i need a break before starting my most stressful job... *sigh* Maybe i could book a chalet and stay over for 2 nights.. Hopefully it work to ease my stress... thnk i better get some rest... If not i might fall asleep during my practical tmr... ciaoz~

I don't miss Saz no more

2008-07-19T03:20:00.002+08:00

I should sleep soon as i'm gonna have a hectic day at work tmr.. Thank God i'm off this Sunday... At the moment i feel like bumming around trying to get some sleep... Normally, if i didn't get to see Saz, i would miss him tremendously but after i get my thinking straight and sort out my feelings, i decided that i don't miss him anymore...

Sound crazy but its true... It feel like he is just somebody whom i would hang out once in a while... Had fun with each other company and goes our separate ways resuming our daily routines... I know i've been going gaga blogging abt him every now and than and how i miss him so but this month it seem different..

After our honeymoon, i do miss him for about a week or so... I decided to do some soul searching about us being together.. I don't seem to see us being together getting all tangle up in a mess and stuff like that.. I used to have strong feeling about it but after i realize that he still kinda hurt about his past relationship after all this years.. I know there won't be a chance for me to be in his life..

Even if there is, he won't treasure me.. I don't want him to be with me and when certain things we do together brought him back to the past recalling about his ex.. So i guess we could only be friends and not more than that..

Maybe one day when i found that special person who can make me feel who i am, without having to please them, i would go with the flow and move on and open a new chapter in my life... He's a current chapter who would be left stagnant and fill in as and when he has the time... When i start opening that new chapter, i shall close the current one and shelf it as well..

Somehow i feel like i'm numb to guys and relationship... At the rate i'm going, i don't think i'm ever gonna get married... hahaha... I guess those relative who predicted that of me will have their wish come true... If that happen, i shall start thinking of migrating and leaving in solitude... oh well.. i guess i shall play some games before going to slp... doodles..

karma by Alicia Keys

2008-07-18T17:34:00.003+08:00

Weren't you the one that said, that you don't want me anymore.
And how you need your space, and give the keys back to your door.
And how I cried and tried and tried to make you stay with me.
But still you said that love was gone, and that I had to leave.

Now you, talkin bout a family
Now you, sayin I complete your dream
Now you, sayin I'm your everything
You confusin me
What you say to me
Don't play with me
Don't play with me.

Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me

What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back

I remember when
I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you
Til 3 o'clock in the morn
And when you came home, you'd always have some sorry excuse.
And explainin to me, like I'm just some kinda fool
I sacrifice the things I want to and do things for you
But when it's time to do for me, you never come through

Now you, wanna be a bond of me (eyyy)
Now you, have so much to say to me (heyy)
Now you, wanna make time for me
What you do to me.
You confusin me
Don't play with me
Don't play with me.

Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me

What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back

I remember when
I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you
Til 3 o'clock in the morn
Night after night
Knowin sumthing goin on
Wasn't home befo me
You was,you was gone
Lord knows it wasn't easy, but believe me.
Never thought you'd be the one that would deceived me.
And never do wha u was supposed to do
No need to hose me fool, cause I'm ova you

Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me

What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Gotta stop tryin, to come back to me

What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
It's called Karma baby.
And it goes around.

What goes around, comes around,
What goes up, must comes down,
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me

Chatting with Ram on msn

2008-07-18T16:50:00.003+08:00

Today i was chatting with Ram on MSN... Well saw him in the facebook and decided to just add him and chat with him on msn.... He was bugging me as usual asking me when we wanna meet up.. We were no longer together about 3 years cause we decided to went our separate ways when lil' Princess was only a few months at that time... It was heartbreaking having someone close to u and having that person talking about future together and whole load of shit.. Giving my all to him and trusting him that he would take good care of my heart as it was fragile back than...

Throughout our conversation, he suddenly talking about getting married to me... I wanted to roll on the bed and laugh... Wondering what make him think that i would get back to him after all this years... I've close my old chapter with him and shelf it up high on the shelf where it won't be reachable... I don't wish to re-open the chapter and continue from there.. I had enough of it... I would rather open a new chapter in life and await what is install for me...

No doubt i may still have some feeling for him but to continue where we left is a NO! NO! to me.. For me i believe that once bitten, twice shy.. I wouldn't want to get back to the past and relive everything back again.. I would rather be single like now and enjoy my life and who knows along the way i might meet a knight in shining armor who would leave me off the ground... hehehe.. Enough for now.. toodles....

Recap over the weekends..

2008-07-17T00:28:00.003+08:00

I have so many to blog about but too lazy and too tired to blog about.. Let see.. Last week i'm practically free the whole week. So most of the time bumming around.. Last Saturday went to Sentosa with Snowy and her friends.. There are like 12 of us in total consist of 5 girls and 7 guys.. If not there would be 14 to 15 of us but 2 of them just come over and go off... I had fun in the sea as we were playing captain ball in the sea... Good thing i can swim.. We were swimming at Pahlawan beach and had to get out of the sea at around 7pm as we are not allow to swim after 7...

We head to the toilet to take our shower... It was kinda long queue at the individual shower.. So Panama, Snowy and me decided to head for the open shower... We decided to skinny dipping at the open area or shall we say it skinny showering.. hehehe..

After done with shower, we head to the skyride.. Only 5 of us decided to ride the skyride and luge.. It was fun.. Done with the ride, we head down to Siloso beach to chill out near the cool deck as they were playing jazz by the beach... We decided to play bluff with 2 decks of card and 12 of us playing.. Whoever lose, will be forfeited...

The first person to get forfeited was me.. So they make me kiss all the girls on the lips... hahaha... That is so easy... The second person to get forfeited was Zak... Poor him as his challenge was damn gross... The make him like one of the guy armpit.. hahaha... and he start puking after that.. The last forfeit was Snowy.. Hers was easy as well.. She had to dance dirty dance with Din... hehehe..

After we were done with all the games, we decided to make a move... From there, we headed to Al Ameen at bukit timah to have our supper..we were there till close to 3am before heading home.. Since Panama stay in the east side, we share cab home while the rest on the west side find their way home... That's about all my weekend... Oh ya, was out shopping at singapore expo with mum and sis...

As for today, time to meet up with my uniform group friend from poly... Had dinner at Riverside Indonesian Restaurant and we are super bloated... After dinner, we decided to walk around clarke quay area...

I don't think i can't continue whatever i want to write.. So i guess till here than... i'm gonna concussion soon... ciaoz`

Gram admitted to hospital

2008-07-10T23:22:00.002+08:00

I received message from my cousin early on today saying that E.D was rushed to hospital as she spat blood out... She's on drip and doctor suspect that she might have ruptured esophagus.. I just realize something truly amazing... E.D is already 87 and she don't have common sickness most old folks have like diabetes, high blood pressure, etc... Her sickness is due to her aging... Her memory is still as good as ever.... Surprisingly, she remember everyone for her age...

Today i saw my long lost cousin for very first time... He's been away from Singapore for 12 years and he's good looking... Married to a beautiful wife and have a pretty little girl... He has twin brother whom i have no idea who but they don't look alike.. I have a nephew or was it a niece who is a twin.. That shows that twin do run in the family and its a direct line... Maybe i shall start working out for possibilities... If i'm not wrong was it my dad or one of my uncle twin bro passed away or something like that...

Hmm... I wonder what is my chances of having a twin kids.. Hmm... It kinda freak me out that i have so many cousins and mind u they are good looking... There are quite number of them no longer in Singapore... Those that i know or heard of, is either in Australia or London... Can u imagine dating someone of my kind of complicated race would be scary... I wouldn't know if he would ended up being my cousin.. Imagine in a serious relationship or worst still if having intimate relationship, that would freak me out even more..

At time its hard to tell our race as we are a complicated lots.. Well my granddad is chinese, while grandma is portugese - javanese... So what dad make my dad? chinese-javanese-portugese... Hmm.. I wonder if i would see anymore cousins that i've never seen before.. I heard there are some more but I've never heard before.. I have a cousin who used to own a pub in boat quay.. gosh... I think i better not torment about it... Ciaoz~

WEnt out with SAz

2008-07-03T21:47:00.002+08:00

Yesterday night Saz message me asking if i'm fine.. The last time he message me, i didn't reply... Hmm.. Come to think about it, did i miss his message or i didn't get his message... Hmm... Met up with him and head down to get some booze before getting a room for ourselves... It all started about honeymoon... So we had our honeymoon yesterday night... He can last for hours.. Almost give up but i have to control myself... Amazingly, i manage to stand until he told me he has one problem... That is he need to pee... I was like *phew* Imagine from 2am to 3.15am.. Gosh...

He have to pull me out of the bed as i couldn't even stand up straight.. Like a lining tower of Pisa... hahaha... He hug me to steady me and release me only when i could regain my composure...

Come the second round, i think i could weeped there but after half an hour, his phone ring as one of the trainer message him... So i was lucky to escape... Had to run to the bathroom to recollect myself..

The third round, luck on my side again.. The deliveryman came knocking our door as we ordered food... I couldn't get myself to eat.. Ate half of the burger and he finish it up for me... Done with food, we cuddle up and chatted.. We were chatting until he dozed off snoring.. Must be a hard and rough night or shall i say in a wee morning... hahaha...

As i have to work today, we set alarm on both our phone... I was awake but rolling on the bed.. He wake me up tickling me.. hahaha.. So when i was awake, i sit beside him on the bed.. When he start stretching, i poke him and tickle him until he get up and out of the bed... I quickly make my way to the bathroom before he start tickling me... hahaha..

It was really fun and tiring.. I was super early for work, so we decided to head to the nearby coffee shop to get some coffee... I guess i better get some rest... I need to rejuvenate so i'll be fresh to work tomorrow.. I just realize that i have not eaten anything the whole day.. The last that i ate was like 4am... It was only half the burger... During my lunch time, i just make myself a cup of hot milo.. Anyway, i better rest... ciaoz~

Theory Test

2008-07-01T17:12:00.002+08:00

I had a Final Theory Test but didn't even study for it... hahaha.. so what else i expect.. Of course a fail.. If i passed, it would be a miracle... hehehe... The plan was to convert to school and i've convert myself from being a private student to become a school student... I had to register for 1 yr membership fee, test and also for 5 practical class.. That total up to $400 plus close to $500... For the next 2 weeks i think i shall start fasting... Hmm... nah.... I think i should watch my spending... can't splurge on unnecessary things...

I better get ready as i'm meeting Snowy at Raffles place.. Better get moving... Adios~

i'm so exhausted from work...

2008-06-25T22:07:00.002+08:00

I'm so exhausted from work... My body aching all over and i wish to have a good massage right now.. *yawn* I think i'm so gonna sleep after this.... I could barely think and no idea what i'm gonna fill in this entry... Anyway, i think i better freshen up myself first before dozing off to have a good night sleep... I shall use my Aqua Lily body wash and to top it off, i shall use the lotion after shower.. I like the smell... I'm so in love with body shop.... I better take my shower now or i'll ended up falling asleep with my laptop on the lap... ciaoz~

hectic weeks...

2008-06-24T13:59:00.003+08:00

Thank God i'm off today... For the past weeks i've been drain out from work... I'm so exhausted that i almost give way to it... But nonetheless had to cope with one more day at work... I have a few things to do today... I'm going to Bras Basah to purchase english textbook that i reserved... After that i'm going to Bugis to get the chewy donut... The donut seriously yummy... hehehehe.. Talking about donut, i feel like eating it now... hehehe... *droolings*

can't sleep,,,,,

2008-06-19T02:17:00.002+08:00

This is my second entry for the night... I'm seriously tired but can't get myself sleep... I guess my insomnia invading me again... Oh no!!! What shall i do now... *i wonder* count the sheep jumping over the fence till i fall asleep... Right now i feel hot and stuffy and my bed not comfortable.. My body feeling lethargic but my mind seem to be constantly busy and don't want to be more on sleep mode....

This is seriously bad and harmful... Let see... What is on my mind...

Was it about work? Hmm... Why would i want to think about work at this hour...

Was it about money? Hmm.. What's with money? Not much problem about that....

Was it about guys? Hmm... Get over and done with it... Moving on... Or maybe more like floating around like a wondering spirits...

Heck with all that... What i shall do now is try to force myself to sleep or i'll faint at work tomorrow... ciaoz~

hectic days...

2008-06-19T00:57:00.003+08:00

Haven't been blogging for a while now... Been busy with jam pack weekends and hectic days at work.. Let see... A recap with the activities that i went thru..

Friday after work, went to shop for some groceries and get some clothes for my little princess.. After that head down to Sentosa and meet Snowy there... We were chilling out there by the beach... It was so relaxing and i love the ambiance... Just make me wanna stay there longer...

Saturday, went to the zoo with my aunt, kids, Snowy and her sis... We were in the zoo from 9am to 5pm... It was really tiring but fun... I'm like the tour guide telling the names of different animals and stuff like that... hahaha... Maybe i should change my occupation... hahaha... After the zoo, feed the kids and princess... I was the first to knock off... Was really tired... I feel bad i couldn't accompany little princess even how hard she try to wake me up... Thank God his dad around if not i don't know what will happen....

Sunday morning, had breakfast with little Princess at Macdonald.. Bought for her happy meal as the only reason kids go to MacD, for the toys... After breakfast, went to Suntec City with Snowy for the IT show.. It was so busy and pack with peoples.... We were busy budging around until Princess start complaining that she's hungry and she want to eat rice with chicken.. hahaha.. she's cute... The whole day i was out spending time with her... I miss her...

Monday back to work... As usual, suffering the blues of Monday... The past few days, my work place is super busy with peoples... Glad that everything went smoothly... I better don't sleep late as tomorrow gonna be another hectic day at work... Ciaoz~

Saz, Saz & more Saz

2008-06-12T01:23:00.002+08:00

I'm so wide awake right now... Just watching some show in HBO about some niggers... The show more on their daily lifestyle... Its kinda complicated show and stuff like that... But i'm not concentrating on the show... I should be sleeping by now for i have work tomorrow... Its gonna be long day at work...

Looking at Saz pictures, just remind me of him... Thank Snowy for telling me i should have some trust on him... He did told me before about trusting and stuff like that.. Whatever it is, right now i shall fight my battle to his heart... Even if i fail at least i would be glad that during the course of my life, i did fight for what i want and not just give in to faith..

Talking about his pictures, could be seen that he's age-ing but still haven't grown up... Don't behave like a guy of his age... hahahaha.. Well that make me like him more... He is smart in lots of things but when we are together, i would be the dormant one.. He let me run his life anyway i want it and he wouldn't complain a bit about it... Instead he will be so manja even the simplest thing he make it tough on himself...

Well as for us to be together, it will be a tough one... As he is aware that his friend, Mu, is getting on my nerve thinking that i'm a bitch... G was head over tail over me until he came into the picture... So it ain't easy for both of us... Sound like forbidden love...

I guess i'm starting to crap here... I better try to get some rest... I have a few hours of sleep... signing off.. Ciaoz~

My mind just thinking abt u...

2008-06-11T00:06:00.002+08:00

I've been listening to my blog song and somehow i feel that song kinda relate to my life right now with Saz... Been thinking about it and wondering to myself "what's next?" I can be a bitch at times but when come to this kind of situation, i seem lost... I'm happy being with him and he has the feature and traits of a guy that i always want (more like hoping for)... When i get to know him, i couldn't believe i'm so lucky to get to know him... I was like close to drooling at that time but have to keep myself cool... I must thank G for bugging me to come down or i'll miss the chance of knowing him...

"So what's next?" I seriously have no idea what i'm going to do with myself... At this point of time what i know is that i need to stay focus on my job and had to work my ass off to show that i'm a capable leader and they did not choose the wrong person to lead and not be lead... Its not easy especially when people in the higher authority or even colleagues in the branch trying to find the slightest mistake that i've done.. Sometime due to a small issue, they could make it big... At time i felt like i've been sandwich by them.. I know its not easy but i have to keep on perseverance... Like Saz always tell me "that will make u stronger..."

What shall i do tomorrow since i'm off... Hmm... I should have change my off days to work tomorrow.. At least that will keep me occupied for a while.. The last time i met Liz, she make me think of something about Saz... She know that he stay alone and stuff like that but the one thing that she make me think is that, do i ever cross my mind that i'm just another girl to get laid and he can always bring any girls back home without me knowing it... He can do anything he want behind my back... I was so over the moon until she have to cement me to the ground and that set me thinking... I've put it aside until it suddenly cross my mind a minute ago...

If he really have someone else beside me, well i guess its time for me to move on with my life... It might hurt me but Oh well... what's new!!! Just get over and done with it.. The main objective in my life right now is to work hard so as to secure my corporate ladder.. I'm almost there but not there yet.. I have like 3 months to prove to them that i can do it..

I really hope Saz is not as bad as what people might think.. I hope he would prove people wrong and someone i can trust... *sigh* I guess i'll just play game till i'm tired and than sleep... I better stop thinking about him.. ciaoz~

Preference Shares

2008-06-08T14:58:00.002+08:00

Yesterday i have to head down to head office to do some preference shares... Didn't know what i was suppose to do until i reach main branch... So basically each of us were given 65 shareholders... It was really interesting and something new to do and learn... Playing around with pools of money... Mine u, the sum is not small amount... All of it sum up to millions of dollars... We can't even afford to make a slightest mistake... Any rectification will cost loss...

I done quite well finishing it beyond the schedule time... When everything was done, we have to go through 3 to 4 level of checking and it was thoroughly checked... We were only release at 8.30pm... It was really exhausting seeing numbers and figures after figures.. Facing the screen at 3pm.. We have to face the monitor for 5 hours...

When i'm back home, i barely could open my eyes... I was so worn out, even listening to MTV playing hip hop countdown make me wanna sleep.. Anyway, i guess i'm gonna stay home today and recuperating... better head back to my game... ciaoz~

Deep in my thought...

2008-06-02T18:58:00.002+08:00

This is my second entry for the day... Seriously i don't know what to do... Well there are things that i want to do but don't feel like doing it today... My mind just preoccupied with thoughts about Saz.. I hope we would be able to meet up tonight to catch a movie and spend sometime with him..

Surprisingly to go ga-ga over a guy.. Been going nuts when the first time i met him... Endless things to talk about him... The first time i know him is the eve of Hari Raya Haji where we were partying at Gotham.. The way we get to know each other was really funny.. We manage to exchange contact number on that day itself...

The next day on Hari Raya Haji itself, he message me.. I was excited to received his message and we were messaging each other endlessly... The night of Hari Raya Haji, we meet up for movies and than we decided to rent some DVD and head back to his place.. Well we only know each other for a less than 24hours before meeting up again.. To my surprise we ended up staying together for about a month or so before he get himself engage on his new job...

Hmm... I just realize something.. I only know him for about 5 month and i thought i know him longer than that.. Oh Gosh!! Not even half a year and we do so many things together.. Knowing so much about each other...

Let see.. I know him in December'07.. Stay with him until end of January or beginning of February.. February is his birthday and he stuck with camps after camps... Meet him on March to celebrate his one month belated birthday at Obar.. Back to his camps activities, meet him on April or was it May... Hmm.. Or was it both April and May.. I don't think i meet up with him on April for April seem short and i was tied up with work... We met up last month for i remember telling him about my order from Victoria's Secrets and he send me back home early... Than meet up with him yesterday night...

So from tomorrow night onwards till the 21st June he will be busy with school camps.. Hmm.. So i wonder when our next meet up... Next month maybe.. I wonder... Hmm.. Now i know why i couldn't stop myself thinking about him.. Its not about how often or how less we meet up but the things that we do together that i've learn to love and treasure.. For each time we spend together, its something difficult to forget.. Each time we meet up, its so refreshing and its always something different from any other days we meet up before... *sigh*

I'm super bored at home right now.. I want to go out but no one to go with and nowhere to go to... Anyway, i think i shall just laze around and i don't know what i'm up to... Signing off.. Cheers..

back from Saz place

2008-06-02T12:54:00.002+08:00

I'm kinda worn out... Just reach home not long ago from Saz place... Was staying over his place yesterday night... We wanted to have some outdoor drinks but due to drizzling, we ended up back at his house... Head down to Cheers to get a booze and a couple of mixers...

First round we were playing 7-up and i keep losing... So after bottom up with 2 mugs we decided to retreat back to our bed and watch some DVD that i brought over from home... After going through the DVD, we decided to watch Red Line.. They have lots of nice and expensive sport cars... *drooling*

Towards the end of the show we decided to finish up our booze which we ended up not drinking it.. Both of us decided to play with ice cube and trying to rub on each other... It was fun... Both of us always have lots of wacky things to do when we meet up... I was at the losing point.. We were playing around the house... I have to make to the exit... Run to the bathroom.. hehehe... I was so exhausted from work and playing, i fall asleep first and leaving him alone...

When i woke up, i move closer to him and he cuddle me back to sleep... When both of us are awake and freshen up, we decided to laze around in the living room and chatted for hours... As usual keeping each other update on ourselves.. One thing i like about him is that he always listen.. Whether its just some casual conversations or some whining, he will still listen and he would give me his opinion on whatever he could... Its not easy to find guys who listen attentively showing interest in it rather than giving a look "are u done with that boring topic?"

I guess i shall take some rest now... ciaoz~

i'm anxious to meet Saz

2008-06-01T22:53:00.002+08:00

Today at work, i could barely open my eyes... Trying to keep myself awake and also stop myself from yawning in front of the customers... I felt like drop flat on the floor and fall asleep.. Was trying to keep up with work and surprisingly i manage to last the whole day..

When the branch closed, i got a message from Saz.. Was surprise to received his message when i was bitching about missing him on my earlier entry... We were sms-ing each other and planning to meet him up later on.. Right now waiting for him to be release from the clutch of his uncle wings..

We have so many things we wanted to do and go and i think we might ended up at either Changi or East Coast park to chill out and maybe go there for star gazing.. hahaha... I wonder what time he will be done with some discussion with his uncle... I'm kinda sleepy actually... I hope i don't fall asleep...

I think i better get something to munch or do something... ciaoz~

i miss Saz

2008-06-01T04:52:00.002+08:00

Today was a hectic day going from one end to another end of Singapore.. Busy running around... From weddings to birthday party to birthday pit.. Went to Lolita birthday pit.. Didn't know what to get for her so i get a bottle of white wine for her... It was fun... A'an wanted to challenge me drinking chivas and before you knew it he was a goner.. hahahaha.. I still can hold my liquor well.. hahaha...

As i was gazing the star by the Changi beach and talking about Saz, i miss him so dearly... *sigh* why must he torture me like this? I know that whatever we want, we would never get instead we get what we need... Having him in my mind for the past few hours and days enough to kill me..

I did get over him for once, move on with my life and he came running in my life.. Dig the old wound that he left behind and when he done digging as deep as he want, he left me in despair again.. Staggering with my life trying to heal my wound.. Even plaster it won't help as the cut was too deep...

I've always been the strong one telling people to move on but when came back to me like a boomerang, i couldn't get over and done with it.. *sigh* only time can tell.. I wonder how long will it take to heal my wound this time... One of my aunt who happen to know Saz was asking me how is he, etc... haiz.. I don't want to deepen the wound which already deepen enough... I better gt some sleep as i'm working in a few hours time... doodles..

can't stop thinking abt Saz

2008-05-19T03:15:00.002+08:00

Before anyone start reading this.. Got to warn u, its gonna be very depressing.. Suddenly i feel like this today... Even the song sound depressing.. So if u don't want to be depress, don't bother reading my blog...

I'm confused right now... I've been super free for the past few days and the least thing that i expect that gonna happen to me is thinking about Saz... Suddenly i miss him terribly and i want him by my side like the old days but my pride keep me from doing so... Suddenly i start humming the song by trisha yearwood and i decided to put it in my blog... I need to cool myself down.. Thank God i have half bottle of wine so i could cool myself down...

My worked has been affected badly... I tried hard not to think about him and get over it... I thought i'm strong enough to stand on my own feet but right now at this very moment i suddenly feel like a loser... A sore loser who can't get over a guy... I wonder to myself... Do i really like this guy? If i do like him, what make me like him?

Somehow i realize that what i like about him is that its so easy being around him and being myself... For i don't need to impress him to like me but just being myself.. It feel so easy.. Unlike my previous ex, i have to be someone i'm not just to impress him..

Today i watch What happen in Vegas.. Its a nice show... Maybe that show just remind me of him.. Sigh... I seriously need to get a life soon... I've been strong over the years.. I don't want because of a guy my defend are down.. This ain't the way... Sigh... I wonder if i'll ever see him again.. The last time i got over it, he came running into my life.. When i thought he will always be there, he gets out of my life telling me he's busy with work and more work.. This is really torturing me.. Why??? Sigh....

Made of honour

2008-05-17T03:54:00.002+08:00

Today meet up with those regular khakis to watch Made of Honour.. Its a nice and touching show... The story line somehow remind me of My Best friend wedding... But this is a little opposite.. Patrick Dempsey trying to win the heart of her best friend.. As he came to realize that he had fallen in love with her.. Doing all things and trying to win her... Its sweet and romantic...

Hmm.. I wonder where is my knight in shining armor... Is he somewhere out there? Or did he turn out to be gay, dead, attached or married to a wrong woman.. hahahaha.. remind me of finding a good guy.. Well i guess i have to meet more guys and know more guys... Right now the guys that i dated are very limited... Right now the amount derived to one and that is Saz...

Sometime i'm surprised at the rate i'm going.. I'm way too independent and if u need the truth i can tell u a direct answer without hiding anything.. But when come to relationship, i might have a little problem... I dunno how to express myself in order to tell him that i love them... That seem the problem and i can be too naive to admit it...

I guess i need someone who can understand my lifestyle, accept me for who i am and what i am rather than me making adjustment in my life.. Well love can be very expensive... In this kind of world, love would not be enough to sustain anything and everything.. Some relatives are worried that i'm never gonna get married at the rate i'm going... hahaha.. Because quite number of my aunts are single and career-minded and very independent... its already 4.15am... i better get some rest as i'm working later on... ciaoz~

Feeling damn sleeping...

2008-05-12T00:19:00.002+08:00

Today i'm battling with myself not to sleep early.. This is the first time for a nocturnal person like me barely opening my eyes.. The past 2 days it seem that i'm floating in the air.. Its time to plant my feet on the ground... Its all thanks to my hunky darling, Saz.. He's so yummy and he make me feel as though firework just launch from my heart especially during and after our love session for each other... It feel so different unlike other guys before him.. After the session, i look myself in the mirror... To realize that my face was glowing with rosy cheek and red lip as though i just wore a very bright red lipstick... To top it off, for the past 2 days i can't stop thinking about him.. I do like him and i guess i like him too much..

The last time when we don't even have time for each other, I thought that was the end of it.. I thought i would never see or hear from him again... I was trying not to get all worked out about it.. It took me a while to stop people from asking me about him and for me to stop thinking much about him... Finally his work a little relax before moving on to June school camp... I just wish we could be like before.. Staying together, cuddles, hugs, kisses, love, etc.... Like married couple would do when they live together..

With his hectic lifestyle and more school program to conduct, his schedule are so packed with it and i could barely fit in his schedule.. Oh well my schedule can be very hectic and can be very relax.. Whatever it is, i better get some rest... Another hectic day at work tomorrow... Ciaoz~

Staying over at Saz place

2008-05-09T07:48:00.002+08:00

I've not been updating this blog... Been busy with work especially now due to the government issuing cheques... Anyway, Last Wednesday and Thursday was hell at work.. work kinda freak me out and I'm close to depression.. Its like a war zone with endless crowds and the discrepancy cases kinda high... Oh well, leave that aside.. I'm on leave today.. Good thing i took leave for today to relax myself from the hectic day at work...

Yesterday night Saz and me was sending some cheeky messages to each other and we ended up meeting up... Haven't seen him for about a month almost two.. Both of us been busy with work... He came and fetch me and we headed to his place.. I really miss him.. As usual we would talk endlessly and keeping each other updates on work, lifes, etc.. Whenever I'm with him, i feel at ease and easy to talk to...

When we reach his place, we decided to move his mattress from his bed to the living room so we could watch TV... While watching, we decided to wrestle each other to see who is more ticklish... It was fun, trying to tickle each other by hand, leg or whatever we could attack i mean tickle each other... Keep trying to attack each other ticklish area... We were twisting and turning trying to defend ourselves and trying to attack another party... hahahaha... We had to take shower after that as we were wet from each other perspire...

Today he had to send me early as he got to be instructor for same game organize for the school... All the best with that... Tonight i'm going to velvet underground for some private party perform by Marie Digby... Today my parcel of Victoria Secret will be delivered to me today between 9 to 1pm... Can't wait for it... hehehe... I think i better find something to do or i ended up falling asleep... ciaoz~

i'm going for Sean Kingston concert

2008-04-08T01:00:00.002+08:00

I can't wait to go for Sean Kingston showcase concert tmr at MOS... Gosh.. I can't wait to go... I'm so looking forward to go for the concert tmr... When i listen to the song Beautiful Girl by Sean Kingston remind me of Saz... Remind me when the time we party together before especially the one at DblO... *sigh* Time flies very fast... Still here i am... Still single and waiting for my knight in shining armor to swept my feet off the ground... *sigh*

I wonder when will i see Saz again... I suddenly miss him... Badly in need of him to cuddle me and listen to my whining like the old days... Miss his hugs, laughter, well of all i miss him to the core.. Don't know why i suddenly miss him... I think i better get some rest as i'm working tmr and i'm going to sean kingston showcase.. Hopefully the beautiful girl don't flood the memories of me and him.. *sigh*

signing off...

out partying with Saz n gang...

2008-03-15T22:00:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was out partying with G, Mu, Ameer and Saz... Went to Obar as we were there to celebrate Saz one month belated birthday... In the club, me and Saz was looking at each other and smiling as though we just know each other... We head to the bar counter and get 6 shots... 3 for me and 3 for him... After the shots, we were dancing and chatting and laughing as usual.... G as usual observing us..... Me and Saz order another 6 more shots meant for his friends and some girls his friends know at the club... Mu down with 2 shots and he already high... Saz and me down another shot each.... A few juggies for me.....

Just when me and Saz about to enjoy the music, the club almost close to closing... Didn't know they close at 3am on Friday and only Saturday at 4am... So we decided to head down to AttiCar as the place close at 6... G wanted to head back home... Giving excuses that he has soccer in the morning the next day... Left the four of us... We head down to AttiCar at Clarke Quay... Saz and me were like couple... Holding hand and we even hold on to each other waist while walking...

Had another round of drinks at Atticar... After we are done with Atticar, we head down to Bendemeer for suppper cum breakfast.. Mu and Ameer had bee hoon goreng while Saz had 2 cheese prata... For me i don't want to eat... Too lazy to eat... Saz know that i'm lazy to eat, he ended up feeding me his cheese prata.. The cheese prata was really nice... After finish his cheese prata he order 2 more plain prata... With his body build and plus me eating his share, that is not enough for him... Mu was practically saying that i only eat from his hand... There's one point of time that Saz almost wanted to hammer Mu because he was really rude to me...

After done with food, Mu and Ameer took the same cab to head back home... While me and Saz took the same cab... He send me home to take my working stuff as i'm working today and we head back to his place.. Really miss his place.... Before he busy involve with organising for camp activities, that place used to be my second home.... By the time we about to head to back, it was already 7am... So we were snuggling in bed and he trying to make me sleep... But we ended up chatting endlessly until both of us fall asleep... As usual, that's what we would do before.. Really miss him alot....

Today in need of sleep to replenish my energy for work tomorrow.. I think i better get some rest or i'll burn out tomorrow... Signing off.... ciaoz~

PS: syai, if u are wondering who is Saz... Remember my teacher friend... The hunky guy.... that's him... i'm sure u know which one is he... hahaha...

Its the leap year...

2008-03-01T22:47:00.002+08:00

This year is a leap year... Since yesterday was the leap day, went out with Shah for supper at East Coast... We did plan for the outing abt 3 weeks or maybe a month back.. Back than we could think of two places... Yesterday we decided to head back to East Coast again.... We had stingray, satay and BBQ chicken wings... It was very filling... After a sumptuos meal, we decided to chill out at East Coat park... We head to the water breaker and just sit there and relax.... He's a funny and playful guy... Had so much fun that we didn't realize the time.. It was close to 2am and we have to head back home as i'm working today...

Today he message me... He was telling me that when he got a job, he will spend his first pay on me and let me decide whatever i want.. So i told him i want Caraousel for high tea.... hehehe... He's so funny that he was telling me low, medium or high tea doesn't matter as his pay he gonna spend on me... Well have to wait and see if he really mean it... Hmm... He's having performance on the 12 but i don't know if i could make it... Anyway, i'm just gonna surf the net for a while before hitting the sack... ciaoz~

been out on a date...

2008-02-20T21:55:00.002+08:00

Yesterday my off day and i was out with Shah... Met him at Plaza Singapura at 1.30pm.. After we meet up, head down to Peace Centre to get some tickets... From there, we went to Sim Lim square... Just went window shopping as we don't know what to get first... After we are done with Sim Lim square, went to Peninsular Plaza... Get his guitar string and picks.... After done with things that he needed to get, we went to Marina Square to watch movie, Jumper....

After we get our movie ticket, had our late lunch... The show was nice but the ending was quite boring... After we done with movie, went to suntec city... Bought subway sandwich and went up to the sky garden for dinner... Had a gd laugh with him.... After dinner, went to the fountain of wealth and chill out there for a while before heading to singapore river....

After we reach singapore river, we chill out by the river for a while before making our way to clarke quay and back home.... Done a lot of walking yesterday but i really enjoy my day yesterday...

Today he came to my workplace... Was suppose to go for my branch dinner but since he was there, i can give excuses tat i'm not going... hehehe.... It was sweet of him... Anyway, going to get ready to go DblO with Alfred, Alvin and their friends... ciaoz~

I've decided to change.....

2008-02-16T02:35:00.002+08:00

Been going through all kind of weird activities for the pass few weeks... I've decided to finish my bottle at a bar and that gonna be my last bottle for the year... Enough is enough... Decided to stop all this nonsense... I've become a hardcore... Liquor is a waste of money and time.... Now there are better thing to get myself geared up rather than getting myself high... My body gonna start rejecting alcohol very soon.. Things that i've decided to do are as below

- get a driving instructor
- take up private degree
- look up for a location where i can start my business

At this very moment, all i need is to save money... Seriously save some money.... I better crash now.... My brain couldn't take it from overwork... ciaoz~

party at movida

2008-01-12T12:05:00.000+08:00

Before i'm gonna write my entry for today, I have to apologize to Syai... He's so gonna kill me... *wink* So here's my entry....

Yesterday after work, met up with some of my poly friends at Shah Alam Restaurant... There are 8 of us.. Fir, Azhar, Aidil, Liz, Khan, Aini and one of Fir friend.. After i met up with them, we went to Mind Cafe... It was fun... Cracking our head playing taboo... By the time we end its about 11.30pm... Khan, Liz and me planning to party but couldn't make out our mind where to head to... We been walking from boat quay to clarke quay...

Jack and his friends already at St James, Movida... Liz had a crush for Jack so she keep suggesting to us to go to Movida... So we ended up at St James... Vik and Kev met us outside St James before heading back home... Tried to drag them in but they don't want.... Yesterday didn't drink much... Khan don't drink...

I just had vodka with orange juice, 2 shots of tequila and bourbon coke.... While Liz had vodka with cranberry juice and 2 shots of tequila... Don't dare to give her more than that... Syai, i did cut down on the drinking... hahaha... Don't you agreed?

Jack and his friends went off about 3.30am as one of his friend had work the next morning.... Khan, Liz and me party till 5am before heading back home... We had to take 3 separate cab as we head back to 3 different area... It was fun even though its only the three of us...

Well if Jack like Liz, i don't mind them get together for i don't want her to get hurt by him... I used to date Jack but i can't possibly tell her that... Jack and me are just looking for companion... I don't blame Liz for falling for him... Which girl wouldn't.... He got the look and even i fall for him before and we did lots of crazy things before.... Anyway, got to get ready to find present for my little cousin... Will try to update it regularly.... Doodle~

had major hangover

2008-01-10T15:30:00.000+08:00

Lots of things been happening to me... Seriously lots of them just that i'm too lazy to update... Since Syai been bugging me to update my blog, so here's my entry.... Anyway, i had major hangover today.. Suppose to work but ended up taking leave today... Had to lie to my manager that i'm not feeling well when i overslept... Got back home at 5am...

Yesterday night was out with Liz, Heishley and Rudy at Seletar Reservoir... Vik and Mif suppose to join us but those LBM didn't turn up and give me lots of excuses.. Heck with that... Getting used to those fucking LBM (mind my french)...

Anyway my friend, Heishley, brought a bottle of black label.. They teach me to drink it mix it with ginger beer... First time trying black label with ginger beer... First gulp i could only taste the black label.. After the second or third gulp, could feel the ginger acting up my throat... It feel as though i had some spicy food... Liz couldn't drink much so she had two pax of it while Heishley, Rudy and me finish up the whole bottle... One thing about drinking black label with ginger beer, it acted up very slowly and will hit you badly if you are not a good drinker... Liz couldn't walk straight after two glass... The embarrassing part is that i hit the railing when trying to cross over... It was loud and i had bruise on my knee..

We plan to head to my place and finish up my booze... Liz had to head back home... So we send her home than head down to my place... I still have half bottle of chivas... So Rudy and me decided to head to the 7-eleven to get another booze... So we got two bottles of e33... After
which we head down to Tanjong Rhu... Heishley was goner for that night... Left me and Rudy to finish up the Chivas and e33... So what we did was play poker card and whoever lose will have to drink up... I had like one and half bottle of e33 and half of the chivas... We played till we don't have anymore booze.... So we decided to play dare game... It was fun as i make Rudy kiss the tree and ask for some guy number... hahaha...

Done with chilling out, had to send Heishley back home first than i head back home... I have no idea how Rudy can drive with so much alcohol content in his body..... By the time i reach home, was already 5am and i have to report to work at 10.30 but i woke up at 10.45am... This is the second time drinking with major hangover... The first time when i had Chivas, raspberry vodka, Amsterdam and a few jugs of gin and tonic.... No sane person would mix black liquor with white liquor...

My new year resolution was to cut down drinking but it seems that i drink even more... Gosh.... I seriously need to cut down... My body been intoxicated by liquor... Start of the year and i've already had too much what's more when months to come.. Really need to have discipline myself..

Rudy and Heishley ask me to join them to Bali... Their intention is to party every night... Don't think i'll be joining them.. If not i could basically jump in a pool of liquor... Mosquito would be drunk if they bite me...

PS: If there's some error throughout this entry, mind me... I'm still suffering from hangover... Amazed by myself i can still type this entry.. ciaoz~

Shit things do happen...

2007-12-30T02:35:00.000+08:00

Lots of things been happening to me lately... I tell Chris off and don't wish to hear from him anymore... Now i realize why he did such a thing... Its more of being upset than angry... His friend, Mu, just had a way to dig out secrets and if u interpreted it wrongly, there would be fights...

I feel sorry for Chris... I should have talk things out with him.. After putting in lotsa effort and time with me, spending time together, etc... I fall for his buddy, Saz... I just realize how hurt i must have cause him... I wanted to call and apologize but my pride won't let me... I told him that i don't wish to talk to him anymore... How mean can i get.... *sigh* Right now too many things bothering me.. I feel guilty...

Drench in rain

2007-11-14T13:46:00.000+08:00

I reach home about 12 midnight... Saw Jack was online... I was kinda bored wanted to ask him out but he had work today.. Jack was so sweet, he don't mind accompany me out late at night... He came fetching me at around 2am... We went to chill out and stay out till 6am... When we get out of the building, we didn't know it was raining heavily... I was like an excited little girl laughing at the thought of riding in the rain...

We have to make a move as he need to send me back home and goes back home to get ready for work.. The funny part was that he's more worried about getting his shoe wet... He's so funny... On his bike, i was hugging him real tight as i'm freezing cold in the rain... It was a great experience... First time riding on the bike during heavy rain.. The best of all i was wearing tank top....

My manager called me back to work today but told her i can't as i have test later.. I really hope i could pass it well and don't have to re-take my test again... Tired of re-taking my test...Anyway, i better start my revision... Toodles~

Back from date

2007-10-16T01:19:00.000+08:00

Well i just came back from date with Jack.... It was a simple outing though... We went out to watch movie after which we headed down to the beach for our all time favorite sandwich... We love the food and to top it off its near the seaside... It simple but romantic...

Really miss him after we have not seen each other for a few weeks.. Been busy engaging with our work and stuff like that.. So after we are done with dinner, we sat by the seaside in each other arm chatting and listening to the sound of the wave hitting the shore gently... The smell of sea breeze... oh it so romantic...

It seem time flies really fast and we had to head back home.. As he had to work the next day... I wish we could stay there a little longer... The ambiance just make me wanna stay but i have to think about him... Off the beach, he ride me back home before heading back to his home base... I'm so gonna miss him.. Hope to see him real soon... Well i guess i better head to bed... adios..

Out with J

2007-09-12T11:14:00.000+08:00

Yesterday had to relief at east branch... J fetch me from work and gave me a surprise... Some DIY candle lit dinner... It was really sweet and romantic of him to come out something like that.. He actually had everything prepared and some of the candle wax stain his helmet... After we are done with that, he send me back home... I pass him his sponge bob monopoly that i bought it for him... Well i wanted to give it to him but he insist on paying for that.. If not he won't take the monopoly..

My aunt asked me out later that nite... I was kinda lazy and tired to went out... So just follow her to private ktv with her friends for social event... Her bf was there as well... What happen was that i was engage on the phone so i excuse myself.. I was abt to go inside the room when Noah, my aunt friend, was seating at the smoking area... Called me to join him there.. He was busying singing when i was inside.. While smoking, we were chatting talking about work and stuff like that.. Find out that he's from the same college as me but he's the senior batch and from different faculty.. Well guess that always the ice breaker.... After the event, Noah sent me back home with my aunt and her bf along in the car.. After sending me home, abt 10 mins later he actually turn back and ask my aunt to call me to come down... So we hang out and chat... He actually like me... OMG!!! Kinda freak me out... I just know him for few hours and he fall for me... oh gosh...

Today i had a few things to do despite my off days.. Had to go to the head office.. Take my x-ray for its the requirement by the company... After that i'm meeting client from another bank... hahaha... double cross the bank.. hahahaha... anyway, i better get ready for necessary document/s.. Adios~

Soon to be promoted to TBO...

2007-08-30T20:48:00.000+08:00

Well my cluster manager approached me today.... He was asking me if i would be interested to be bank officer and he would put me under TBO (training bank officer) program.. hahaha... who wouldn't want.. I told him i agreed with it.. Who wouldn't want a promotion... hahaha... I would be the stupidest person to turn down that offer... hahaha...

With promotion coming my way, that means more responsibilities... With more responsibilities, that means my pay will increase... hahaha... yes...

Cool website..

2007-08-30T00:33:00.000+08:00

Just found this really cool website... Got it from Vik.... Its really cute... Animator vs Animation... hahaha.. The next time if i feel like doing animation, i should think of this cute site and it will give me inspiration... hahaha...

Anyway, the website are as below..

http://alanbecker.deviantart.com/art/Animator-vs-Animation-34244097

Movie tix

2007-08-29T23:34:00.000+08:00

Well i've decided that i'm not gonna ask J out for the movie... Guess i'll ask someone else but not sure who... Maybe my colleague/s or my cousin/s... Anyone but not J... Hmm... I still have the spongebob monopoly set that is meant for him... He wanted it so much and i've yet to pass it to him... Its still in my wardrobe...

I'm bored now... Don't know what to do.. Should i play maple story... Hmm... I guess i'll just watch whatever on the cable... Been paying it but not watching it... Toodles~

i won the ballot...

2007-08-29T00:08:00.000+08:00

I thought i didn't get the movie ballot after sending abt 3 to 4 balloting form... To my suprise, i got 4 tickets to Ratatouille.. hahaha... I have to collect the movie ticket tmr from 12pm to 1pm but i'm working tmr... So had to ask Jamie for help and might need to change my off days with him as the movie will took place this Saturday.... Its a great deal... 2 movie ticket for only $10 and it will be screening at Vivo City.... I still don't know who to ask along... Thought of asking J along but i don't know if he's still mad at me... hahaha.. He's so petty...

Hmm.. I don't know who to ask along.. Well i still have this few days to pacify him if i decided to ask him.. My friend, Alvin, called me regarding shares of some company... Its kinda risky thing... He need to invest 12k to it... Guess will talk more to him later once he's out of shower...

He called me now... ciaoz~

Sick and tired

2007-08-25T00:22:00.000+08:00

At time i wonder to myself... Why is J too sensitive or being petty... I was having my nice supper but was interrupted by J reckless behavior... I find it rather rude when he decided to just hung up when we are in the midst of talking.. *sigh* Guess he's a spoilt brat..

Well my childhood had never been easy.. Had to grow up independently learning from my mistake... Been train to dress up and behave in a professional ways... Never blame my mum for being cruel.. I know she meant good but i do miss my childhood... As i'm the eldest in the family, i was train to meet my mum business partner/s... They were impressed that i'm very matured for my age.. hahaha... I do envy people around me at time... They are just so lucky that they could do anything and enjoy their life... Now my family life is at the bottom seriously at the bottom...

I'm able to stand on my feet and still support my siblings expenses... My sis have to take time to adjust as she's a spoilt brat... At time i do wonder to myself.. I think i'm lack of love... I want to be love where they would hug me and tell me everything would be ok... *sigh*

Its Friday nite...

2007-08-24T21:57:00.000+08:00

Today was suppose to meet Ram after work.. He called me up yesterday telling me that he will be coming down to Singapore but somehow the plan was canceled.. He called me telling me that Vik will be going over instead.. I was looking forward to see him after work today.. Guess my Friday night will ended up at home... Life been busy with work and more work and so is J... He's been working hard and taking OT... Guess he's gonna start working hard for Hari Raya and his US trip in March...

Come to think about it, i seriously have no life.. On the average, my work ends at 8.30pm... After work back home than surf the net and sleep... Wake up the next day and get ready to work... This is my cycle of life.. I'm only 22 (not yet bday) so i should have some social life rather than busy with work... For me, i'm a workaholics... Once i'm used to the system and my working environment, i'll commit myself to work... Even if i were to call back to work, i would readily go back to work.. Guess that's what i'll do since i'm single.... lol... My life is pathetic...

Some of my customer pity my bf thinking that i don't have time for them.. Told them i'm still single so its Ok... hahaha... Customer/s are so nosy especially if they see me every weekend working.. Normally what i do during my off days would be spent time with lil' Princess... Pity her at time.. I know that she miss me so much especially when i have to be away from her.. Guess i better make a trip down to see her and bring her out shopping... Haven't had the time to spent time with her.. I better stop here or this entry will just go on and on... doddlez~

Been sick for few days...

2007-08-23T09:25:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back in good health.. Been sick for about 5 days... J had been very caring... My temperature shoot up as high as 39.6 degrees Celsius (103.28 Fahrenheit)... It was really that high and i was crying in pain when i'm at home... Sadly no one was around when i need someone.. Thank God my aunt was available and i just called her to accompany me to the hospital....

At the same time visit Apit who was admitted to the hospital that i went to.. She was bashed by his uncle and bro because she wanted to get married next month... It not that they are against who she married but the person she gonna get married to... Her future husband is double her age and single... I know what the parents thinking... Having a future son in-law who is around their age group... Love is really blind.. What is going on in this world... I don't know...

Life sux!!!

2007-08-16T00:43:00.000+08:00

Life has been hectic for me this few days.. Lots things been bothering me... *sigh* Everything just screwing up and i feel rejected... Well wasn't suppose to feel this way till i met someone from my college.. Things wasn't the way it expected to be.. Its kinda shitty and i have to forgo it.. Well just put it on the shelf or better still dump it to the sea... Better not talk about it, he's just giving hell of time... Don't ever wish to even talk or see him ever again... Its really a mishap... Thought that we could click since we are from the same college but in different faculty.. I was impressed that he could kick his bad habit and start to be holy but He turn out to be a jerk... Who is better off being an actor... Bastard!

Anyway, J was asking me how's my diet and hair progressing.. Told him have not done any of it and he's kinda disappointed with it. To top it off, he's having PMS today.. He's down with diarrhoea and mild fever... So he's a kinda angry with me... So whatever i told him just wouldn't help... Thank to that he gave a earful before giving me a cold shoulder....

Better start going to the gym and get my hair done soon... Or i'll be sitting here all alone and being reprimanded.. Been putting extra pounds over the year... I guess stress just cause me to gobbled up the food... *sigh* I really hope my friend could help me up with my frizzy hair but haven't heard from him.. Seriously, if he can't help me, i wouldn't mind if he told me straight rather than avoiding me and not telling me... *sigh*

Life been really bad for me... Things screwed up on me... Its sooo unpredictable... There are too many uncertainty... At time i just wanna weep my heart out.. All this incidents really make me lose confidence in myself and i just wish that i could just fade away.. Seriously i do wish at time that i could just disappear in the darkness, carried away by the wave, etc.. *sigh*

Called back to work

2007-08-12T23:41:00.000+08:00

Well i was supposed to have 10 off days but i was called back to work today.. Good thing that i need to report to work around 1pm... Tomorrow need to get to work as there is shortage of staff.. seriously shortage of staff that even the officer will be downgraded to teller and my manager did highlight on the work schedule... Its kinda pathetic.. Hopefully i don't have to stay till 10pm like before..

Anyway, went out with a peep, and he asked me to be his gf.. Well i turned him down.. Told him that i had a crush on some other guy, J, (the guy that i'm dating)... I don't know what is wrong with me.. Was out with a guy and suddenly the thought of J came to my mind.. To my horror, i realized that i'm falling for him... *sigh* like some ppl say, absent of the heart make the heart grow fonder (or something like that)...

That peep ask me to tell J that i love him but i don't have the guts to do that and never ever did i make the first move.. Even though some may say that women and men are equal but there's still a discrimination against women... So whatever it is, i won't make the first move as i don't dare..

Hmm... Its getting late... I better make my way to my chamber... nitez~~~

Finally updating my blog

2007-08-08T16:45:00.000+08:00

Whoever read my blog thought that i'm still dating my ex-colleague.. Well to make things clear, i'm dating someone new... We do get along fine as we have similar characters... At time, I feel as though i'm looking myself in the mirror... It may be cool at time and may be creepy at time..

Some of my peeps just had to laugh and commenting that i finally find my soulmate... Oh come on... If he's my soulmate, that would make 2 workaholic dudes who would worked hard and play equally hard... Hahaha...

Anyway, one of my high sch will be getting married next month... I do wonder why would they want to settle down at my age... For me i rather enjoy myself, pamper myself and travel around the world... Than perhaps talk about marriage... For me getting married, u need to stay committed to ur partner and have to give in and take... Is not easy to get married unlike relationship...

Better get ready... Have to attend workshop and movie premiere by my company... ciaoz~

I miss Ram...

2007-05-14T23:57:00.000+08:00

*sigh* Life didn't go according to plan.. I miss Ram... Even though our relationship has ended long time ago, i still miss him... I don't know why... Whenever i try to forget abt him, there he is calling me and just hearing his voice everyday bring back the past... After i'm expecting him to call, he suddenly stop calling me for no reason.... *sigh*

And today he called me again... What is he up to? i don't know... Why is he torturing me like this.. He will be coming over this Thurs and wish that i could accompany him out... I don't know... I'm kinda confused... I don't know what i should do... Sometime i know that i shouldn't be doing it but i just can't help it.. *sigh*

Terlalu Istimewa

2007-05-14T23:20:00.000+08:00

I just love the song by Adibah Nor - Terlalu Istimewa... At first i didn't know what the song all abt... But after i find out more abt the songs, my heart weep... The song is dedicated to a girl who died and was a raped victim...

Everytime i listen to the song, it make me cry at the thought of it and how each child is a gift of from God... The lyrics really sad and touching...

The lyric is abt how u wish to see ur child grew up but sadly u can't see them when they should have the license to be happy and be loved and not being tortured...

If only u could listen and understand it... U would know how it feels like and the more u would cherish for less fortunate and therefore provide ur support for them...

I wish the world would do justice to those kids.....

its been a long time...

2006-10-10T22:03:00.000+08:00

Heyya peeps... Its been a longgg time i last update my blogger... lotsa things been happening in my life... I broke up with my last bf that everyone seem to know and i'm attached with my colleague... hahaha... hell yeah... can u believe that... didn't want to fall in love again after having hard time in the previous relationship but don't seem to be able to avoid my feeling...

My current bf really cool and supportive... Always listen to watever nonsense my ex might thing... Just love him... Will talk abt him when i had the time as i need to bounce back home... need to get my ass to work tmr.... Work can be sux! especially when u are working in all chinese company... *sigh*

watever it is, i'll keep my journal update... got to go for now... ciaoz

My buddy passed away...

2005-10-31T04:16:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling upset rite now... My high school buddy passed away 2 days back... We have been chatting and updating with each other until she met with an accident that kills her... *sigh* How could this happen to her? i thought that we could meet up one of this day but didn't expect this tragic to happen.. It feels like i'm still in a bad dream... Gosh!! Gonna pay the last visit to her tomorrow...

May God Bless her and let her soul rest in peace...

writing resume...

2005-07-15T02:30:00.000+08:00

Later in the day i'm gonna go for interview as Sales & Marketing executive... Just done with the resume... Kinda feel good for at least i have a referral... hahaha... Really shag rite now... I'm at my place rite now... Need to take cab home.. My friend sound asleep.. Gotta wake her to tell her that i'm going home.. Anyway, will update my blog soon... Kinda busy this few days... ciaoz~

2 more days to go....

2005-07-06T09:11:00.000+08:00

I have 2 more days to go before i'm done with attachment... wow!! that's fast... Need to tidy up watever i need to give to my supervisors before my technician took over my job.... Can't believe that time flies very fast... Hmm... Let see... Wat can i do after i'm done with my attachment??? I'm gonna be a couch potatoes... hahahhaha.... ok... better get back to work... ciaoz~

6 days to go...

2005-06-30T13:28:00.000+08:00

I still have 6 days to go before i'm done with attachment... The department that i'm attached to has been good to me... They treat me and one of the manager to Sakae Sushi... I'm really bloated now and i'm gonna miss working here... Well it always happen when u are toward the end... In my lab, one of my colleague last day today... Place gonna be so quiet soon and after i'm gone, i'm not sure how the rest gonna survive....

Alrite than.. I better get back to work.. Need to tie up lotsa loose end before passing back to my supervisors... ciaoz~

7days to go...

2005-06-29T10:47:00.000+08:00

I'm like counting down as to how many days before my attachment end... I left with 7days and time fly very fast... Amazingly i've been with this company for 10 weeks and i'm gonna miss working here... Gonna miss my colleague... Those ppl who taught me alot of things in this working area and i seem to know where is where in this company... One of my colleague told me there might not be any replacement... So i'm not sure who gonna take over my job... So i guess i'll just let it be...

I'm so looking forward for the weekend... Haven't see my bf for like 4 months... He be coming down to singapore... I miss him so much... Hmm... Gonna start planning for wat we gonna do over the weekend as one thing for sure we gonna go for exhibition at expo...

I better get back to work... Too many things need to rush... ciaoz~

1 week to go...

2005-06-27T09:16:00.000+08:00

Monday blues sux.... I'm sooo damn tired rite now.. My brain don't seem to cooperate with my body... *sigh* Its been a hectic week for me... Been working so hard that i couldn't take it anymore... Oh well... I still have 9 days before i'm done with attachment... Seriously looking forward to it and i'm gonna start bumming around before i find a permanent job... *yawn* I find that there are error here and there in my blog but couldn't make my hand to edit it... Oh well... Who cares... so long i know wat it feels like i don't care... I'm like having a headache now... argh!!! It feels so frustrating to me...

For heaven sake... I need to get my brain working for i need to do my work... Need to complete it so as its been taking me too long with it... *sigh* I'll try my best to do wat my brain could afford to do... ciaozz~

2 weeks to go...

2005-06-24T09:30:00.000+08:00

I have like 10 days to go before i finish my attachment... Work been busy and chaotic... Haven't had time to change song in my blog for its getting on my nerve for now... *sigh* Lotsa things had happen to me lately... Some things i rather keep it to myself than go around telling everyone about it... Its just very devastating things to talk abt things that been troubling me for now... Once i get everything settle, i guess i'll talk abt it...

I think i'm gonna talk to my colleague as they start talking crap in the lab... ^_^ gtg now... ciaoz~

3 weeks 3 days to go...

2005-06-14T11:41:00.000+08:00

I'm like counting down the number of days before i get my ass outta here... Let see... I have like 3weeks and 3 days... To be exact, i have 18days before my attachment over... hahaha.... I'm soo looking forward for it as now ain't fun like before after 4 IQC has been retrench... Anyway, i better get moving for lunch... ciaoz~

3 weeks and 4 days to go...

2005-06-13T09:47:00.000+08:00

I still have 3 weeks and 4 days to go before i finish my attachment... hahahaha... i'm so looking forward to it... hahaha... Oh well... Today one of my officer just came back from China... He gave me sweets and some souvenior from there... This few weeks are hectic due to the retrenchment... Been seriously busy as there are works to do... *sigh*

I was drench in the rain.. Was seriously wet even thought i have umbrella with me... I'm done reading my novel by Jude Deveraux and the title of the book is Twin of Fire... Nice story.. I'm gonna return the book back and rent Twin of Ice... The book that i just finish reading was interesting on how this lady, Blair, pursue her dreams in becoming a doctor and later win the heart of her love who happen to be a doctor too and how she overcome the people who fear female doctor... The story was about this two stubborn ppl who at times get on each other nerves as they are almost alike... hahaha...

I think i better get somework started or this entry gonna be a long word with a summary of the book that i've read... ciaoz~

Waiting for lunch time...

2005-06-09T11:33:00.000+08:00

Time flies slowly today.. Guess the atmosphere is totally a different one today... It seems deserted today... Too quiet... *sigh* I need to do checking of part... Lotsa things need to be done.. It would be nice having them around as they lift up the atmosphere in the lab... It feels like the last time when i'm doing my FYP... All my LBM friends went for attachment leaving me alone still stuck with FYP... Now its the same feeling... Leaving me alone again... Guess its part and parcel of life... Anyway, better continue checking the mirror while watiting for lunch time.. ciaoz~

Retrenchment time

2005-06-08T09:56:00.000+08:00

Today ain't good day at work... Well came to work as usual... Looking forward for everything but things had to go wrong... Today is the retrenchment day... In my department there are four people being retrench... My department, IQC, is the busiest department and yet they retrench so many ppl... *sigh* Now they have a handy of ppl and everyone in low morale mood... *sigh* i feel sad about it especially knowing that those three that has been retrench are closer to me... I've been getting along well with them... Why can't they do it after my attachment for it won't feel as hurt as now... I still have 4 weeks to go and this has to happen at this time... *sigh* why? Everything seems bad... Everyone outside the lab talking... This is seriously my first time to see how everyone feel when another person in their department being retrench... You could see that they have been together for so many years and up to date four ppl has to be retrench... I think if they decided to quit would be a different thing but retrenchment is a totally different story... I'm kinda upset about it... *sigh* I think i better sit back and refresh myself before continue with work..

dead tired...

2005-06-06T10:07:00.000+08:00

I'm back at work... Here i am... Trying to battle with myself to keep my eyes from shutting... Damn tired today... Guess because yesterday i stayed up so late... Watch Jeepers Creepers and Whose line is it anyway... Jeepers Creepers not really interesting... Kinda boring though... Especially the ending.. Its kinda stupid... The best is still the Whose line is it anyway... Its just refreshing to watch that show... Getting tired now... Had things to do but kinda lazy to do it... Guess lack of sleep has cause the laziness in me... hahaha...

I need sleep badly... I better not sleep late today... Go to my aunt place get my grandma stuff and than head back home to sleep... Arghh!! How am i going to make myself awake now... Damn... I think i'm starting to type nonsense rite now.. I'm still battling... Damn!! Just hate the feeling.. Alrite... Better get cracking... Will update soon... ciaoz~

bored....................

2005-06-01T08:55:00.000+08:00

I'm in the lab right now... Had nothing to do at the moment... Done with all my work yesterday... My aunt just gave birth yesterday to baby gal... I'm so looking forward to see her.. I'm gonna visit her after work... Hmm... What can i do now? I'm waiting for my supervisor to give me work to do... She's not here yet... She wants me to do some customer BOM... haha... Gonna explode the company.... hahaha... Make it sound like i'm under some mission creating bom...

Oh well... Better get cracking... ciaoz~

Waiting for lunch....

2005-05-31T11:05:00.000+08:00

Here i am waiting for lunch time... Kinda bored rite now as i'm done with my work again... Have nothing to do at the moment... So all i can do is wait for lunch time... Hmm... I came late today... reach work at 9.10am so that means i have to go home at 6.40pm... *sigh* why must i go to work late... Better be early tomorrow... Oh i'm so looking forward for Friday... After i went for doctor appointment, i'm going to meet my honey... hahaha...

Hopefully everything went smoothly so that i can see my honey after like more than 9 weeks didn't see my honey... Really miss my honey alot... On Friday, Vik going in army at Tekong... Good luck with that...

Why the time flies so slowly... I want to get out of this place... I'm like half deaf right now.. gtg...

Back in the lab...

2005-05-30T15:09:00.000+08:00

Damn bored rite now... Supposedly to go for doctor appointment today but the doctor write the wrong appointment date... So i decided to go on Friday... muahahaha... I can't wait to get out of this lab... I still have 5 weeks to go... I'm soo looking forward to it... haha.. I'm like counting down for the moment to get out of this lab... The place are ok but this is not my kind of job.... Anyway, better get back work... ciaoz~

Today is the 3rd month...

2005-05-25T14:40:00.000+08:00

Been busy this few days and had lotsa things to do... Today morning was raining and its a nice weather to sleep but i have to get my ass outta bed to go work... Damn tired today... I was trying to keep myself awake lotsa time and i keep dozing off... Guess lack of sleep would seriously harm me... Well hopefully i would sleep early today... Today i've been together with Ram for 3 months... Kinda fast.. Got to continue doing my work using another PC as another officer done with it... I'll continue update later... There's one china woman who is busybody... She's so nosy that she would tell my supervisor that i'm too free and have nothing to do... Better get cracking... ciaoz~

waiting for 6pm..

2005-05-19T17:32:00.000+08:00

Here i am in the lab as usual waiting for 6pm... Everyone in the lab has went home except me as i start later than them... Done with all my works... Seriously have nothing to do... Just chilling out in the lab and listening to radio... But the other comp screw up at times as it keeps buffering and at time might closed my online radio... Kinda sleepy right now... I have to endure another 1 more day before i'm done with work... hehehe... *yawn* I can't wait for long weekend as Monday is public holiday... Hopefully my manager won't call me to work on Monday... Anyway, my second supervisor just came in... Need to do some tidy up... ciaoz~

Back in the lab...

2005-05-17T14:48:00.000+08:00

Really had alot of work to do just because i was on MC yesterday... Today one of my officer, Dave, birthday... He's like 33 today... haha.. Well there's 2 guys after me... One of it is the Assistant Engineer (AE) and the other one is the Production guy... *sigh* They are just too free... At time walking around and when they saw me alone in the lab, either one will come in and talk to me... If not they would just pass by my lab and smile at me... At times it can be hilarious... haha... The production guy ask me if i wanna join those guys for fishing and he told the AE that he will sponsor me... Dave was like telling him that i have 2 bf there... haha.. One is the AE the other one is him.. haha... Those guys can be nuts at time... Anyway, i better get back to work... ciaoz~

I'm bored...

2005-05-16T01:48:00.000+08:00

I'm seriously damn bored right now... Suppose to sleep as i have to wake up early tmr as i'm working tmr... I need someone to talk to but who? Oh well... Yeah i know everyone must be thinking that i can call my bf and bug him... His on the way back to JB from KL and his too sick to talk to me.. So i don't want to bug him any further... *sigh* At the moment it ain't nice to talk to him... I'm bored... I dunno wat to do rite now... Tried to call those few friends i knew won't be slping at this hours but they are busy....

Anyway, just came back from Richard grandma funeral... I feel sad about it as he's close with his grandma and i know how it feels like... Even if i'm in his shoe i would be grieven... The thought of it just scares me for i love my grandma alot... Hopefully Richard would be ok...

Anyway, here are some pic that i took while i'm bored at work... Somehow it just attract my attention at some mistake they make... See the pictures below to see wat i mean..

Here's the trolley...

Read it carefully...

half hour before off from work...

2005-05-13T17:30:00.000+08:00

I still have to wait for like another half an hour before i can go home... Well i can't go home first... I have to go to my second job... Will be working till 11pm today... Tomorrow i'll be working from 3pm to 11pm and Sunday will be my off day where i can just stay at home and slack... Hmm... I'm gonna hide on of the officer, Dave, bag... *evil grinz* He just simply like to disturb me... hahaha... Hopefully he come down before i went off or else he won't know where his bag is... Hmm...

Today is Friday the 13 and today is my cousin birthday... She will be 17 years old today... Hmm... I wonder if i can get a chalet for my bday... really hope i can get to book a chalet if i couldn't get a chalet, i'll make a simple bday party... *praying hard* Seriously i want the chalet...

What to do now... Been updating a few time today... I have things to do just that i've completed most of it... Went up to find my supervisor but couldn't find her... Not sure which file she referrin to as there are 2 clear blue file and i dunno which one i should take from her table... So i just leave it for next week i guess... Getting tired rite now... My another supervisor cannot see me restless for a while... He see me restless, he will make me do some work... Better than nothing... So yeah... I'm done with all of it... I think i'll just sit back and relax and wait for the clock to be 6 and off i go... ciaoz~

Back from lunch.

2005-05-13T14:03:00.000+08:00

I just came back from lunch break... The sun outside are just unbearable... The scorching sun are making me darker day by day... Can't take the afternoon heat... Now the room feel warm because of the heat from my body... Have to wait for a while to cool myself down... Hmm... I think i better rest for a while... Have no idea what to do at the moment... Finish my work damn fast.... hahaha... I think i'll just help to check some documents before going up to find my supervisor... Need to get some documents from her.... ciaoz~

Friday 13

2005-05-13T09:06:00.000+08:00

Today is Friday 13... Muahahaha... I'm so happy as weekend coming ahead but i have to work tonite and tomorrow after for my part time job... Well its ok... I'm looking forward for my pay as i'm kinda broke rite now... Hmm... Everyone in my new workplace are nice... They will be talking and some like to disturb me... They are friendly... When they saw me they would greet me even the cleaner are friendly chap... haha... Oh well.. there are somethings that attract my attention... But i'll update again tonite once i posted the pic online... haha... You guys should see some bloopers here... lol... better get back to my work.. ciaoz~

Its getting bored in here...

2005-05-11T16:52:00.000+08:00

Its already 3rd week to my attachment... I'm done with my work... Most of it... Calling those irritating supplier... They may be busy or its just that they are unreacheable... *sigh* Getting bored in here... Beside calling the suppliers, i'm done with my work... Seriously had nothing to do... At time i'll go to the Receiving Store to bug one of the Engineering Officer if he have anything for me to do... He gave me some works to do and i've completed doing all those task given to me... He have nothing for me at the moment... *sigh* When i have nothing to do, i have nothing to write in my report...

Hmm... I envy everyone as they are going for holidays while i'm still stuck here doing my attachment... I want to go out and enjoy myself too.. Oh well.. Its ok... Just need to endure say another 8 weeks... Hmm.. Shouldn't be a problem...

I'm dying of boredom here... Seriously dying of boredom... I've been taking long break and at times i feel like falling asleep as i've nothing to do...

I think i better stop here as i feel insecure as someone keep looking at me updating my blog... Just feel like my privacy has jus been invaded... ciaoz~

Waiting to go home...

2005-05-10T17:54:00.000+08:00

Here i am still in the lab waiting for 6pm... By the time i finish updating my blog, it will be time to go home.. Well i'm suppose to called up the supplier but not in the mood to called them up... So i went to one of the Engineer who is in-charge of my lab, Richard, if he have anything for me to do... Well he gave me some documentation to do and i've completed it within 10mins... haha... i'm fast.. Vincent taught me on how to check for the item that is being rejected by Production and how to tell which part number belongs to the certain item... So he thought me on how to use the Tester Box and Multimeter... The multimeter (the one use in school) is to check for the grounding and if there is any connection while the tester box is use to check for the Front Panel to ensure that the LED lighted up and using the magnetic field... It was cool... haha...

After i'm done with that, i went to Ee Ling as she show me how she check the Palm top LCD screen and whether its good or need to be rejected... She taught me on why some of the screen when we off it there's a line and stuff like that.. All those theory... I don't mind doing all those but calling supplier is just now my style.. haha... I don't mind calling up the supplier but i have no idea what to tell them and ask them... Stuff like that...

I think i better called up the supplier tomorrow to check for the Rohs compliance... Hmm... Its already 6pm... Time to pack up and go... Better get moving... ciaoz~

Damn tired...

2005-05-10T11:41:00.000+08:00

I'm like dozing off anytime... Lack of sleep as always.... *sigh* I badly need a sleep... Hmm... I guess i better get away from this lab and go for lunch... i think i'll update soon... ciaoz~

Back at work...

2005-05-09T10:48:00.000+08:00

I'm at work rite now... Very tired due to lack of sleep... Should have take atleast one off day just to sleep... hahahaha... Seriously lack of slp... Just finish doing some monitoring list for the Engineering officer.. Have to call some supplier but not in the mood at the moment... I guess must be due to lack of sleep and Monday blue... haha... Oh well.. Rite now i'm seriously famished... Need some food... hahaha... I'm looking forward to meet some of the guys later after work... I'm seriously looking forward to it and hopefully it turn out well... hehe... No idea where we would have dinner tonite... Guess we would just go there and decide... Kinda broke now so can't go to some fine dining or high tea... Just some place that is within my budget and can last me for this whole month... OMG!! I'm really in a tight financial situation rite now... Had 2 job but still shortage of money... Hmm.. I wonder where my money goes to... Hmmm... *wondering*

Oh well... I think i'll see what i can do now.. I guess i better start calling some supplier before i start falling asleep here... ciaoz~

Stupid customer..

2005-05-08T23:49:00.000+08:00

Today i had to work from 7am to 4pm... One of my colleague had been sacked w.e.f today... She has attitude problem... Even at work she won't do her work... Her bf is like everything to her... I don't understand how some couples can see each other everyday and talk every now and than and still won't get sick and tired of each other... Oh well... I guess she must be in her honeymoon period... Crazy girl.. She can even talk to her bf about them getting married and stuff like that... *goosebump all over*

While i was in the storeroom at my work place, i heard a commotion outside... So i decided to check out what's wrong... Some stubborn customer think that just because he is english educated, he would want to argue with my colleague just because the pricing label to the cigarette is wrong... So i decided to come in the scene and argue with the customer... I was like attacking him every single thing he says and he finally says that he decided to get the ciggarette because of me... hahaha... Hey come on man... Just because my work place has a pathetic pay doesn't mean its for low educated ppl... Stupid guy... He's just some jackass who he thought he can win in any situation just because his english is good and he can convince ppl into it... But he can't do that to me.. As for me, the only way to handle this kind of situation is to attack them back and let them surrender for i know i'm not in the wrong...

*yawn* I'm tired now... Had to work tomorrow... Really tired to hold 2 job.. Lots of ppl may think i'm crazy and been asking me to quit my part time job... I love my part time job even though the pay kinda pathetic... Anyway, i better get some rest or i'll ended up waking up late tmr... ciaoz~

Black out at 7-11

2005-05-07T17:55:00.000+08:00

I just reach home about an hour or 2 from work... Very tired rite now as i've to wake up damn early today... When i reach my work place today, the place was in a big mess... The whole place went black out earlier on and when i was there, partial of the machine is working... haha... Finally could feel the air-con and its very chilling... So i told those Sunrise guys not to let any customer in as the cashier is in offline mode... haha.. We did close the shop for about half an hour to 1 hour just to get everything done before letting any customer in... hahaha... We had to return lotsa ice-cream as most of it melt and there's something wrong with the chiller...

I need to take a shower now and need to go down to baby sit my cousins as their parents gonna attend my cousin wedding... I need a sleep soon... I have work tomorrow morning... Damn... Shouldn't have choose to start work at damn early when i know i'll have problem waking up in the morning... Anyway betta get going... ciaoz~

Done with my work..

2005-05-06T16:14:00.000+08:00

Finally done with my Match Set list... Now all i need to do is to call up the Supplier and ask them to re-send their survey form for those whom i can't see their form and those supplier that has not send the survey form.. haha... Hmm... Sound interesting.. But it can be headache to call up the supplier... The best part is my supervisor want me to call the supplier without telling me what i should tell them.. Its more like follow my instinct... hahaha... Ok... Better get my things done... Will update when i'm free.. Ciaoz~